Growing Up

I feel like I don't write on here as much as I did when I first started sometime last year, but the older I get, the busier my schedule becomes. And with age, I've come to realize that free time isn't the only thing that changes.

There is so much to learn when going through the stages of life. I've learned to eat, talk, walk, change my clothes, go to school, do math (unwillingly as it became harder), and make friends. I've completed elementary through high school. In that time frame alone, I found out who my real friends were. I've completed almost three years of college and am still attending.

But it has been in the past couple years that I have learned a very hard trait to get used to. Something more people could stand to learn for themselves. It's called patience. I wasn't always good at this. I was the kind of person that would allow my short temper to get the best of me and scream out, not thinking of the consequences. I was the person in school trying to fix everything for everyone, bring friends back together, when things could've easily fixed themselves. I was the person that became easily irritated at the slow walker in front of me at the store when the aisles were full and I couldn't get around them.

And I can admit these things because we all go through this. We all learn how to control ourselves. We all accept what we can and cannot or should and should not do. And after the past couple of years, I have accepted the fact that things around me will never stop changing, even if I don't necessarily care for it.

Patience towards people is by far the hardest. It's different when you're waiting for a piece of toast to pop put of the toaster or your dog to do its business so you can let them back in the house. Toast and dogs generally don't fight back. People are the greatest test for everyone. When you start school, you are introduced to new kids and teachers. You learn how everyone acts, who to stay away from and who to hang out with. You learn what teachers are mean or nice.

The older you get, the more you learn about these very same people. You find out the group of kids you were scared of were just a couple years older than you and were bigger because of age. You find out the people you were hanging out with don't always agree on the same things. And you realize the mean teacher you had was having a tough time with their family and took it out on the world because they were overstressed.

During the process of learning to be patient, you can get frustrated, angry, annoyed, hateful even. Depending on how much you accept it or maybe even fight it. Based on your emotions, it could come easy or it could come after years of practice and self control.

In my experiences thus far, I had a lot of practice and a lot of time to think about how to handle certain situations. And I am no where near being perfect. I still have a short temper, but now I can walk away instead of starting a confrontation that is far from necessary. I find different ways to do this. I'll go in my room and shut the door to listen to my iPod. I'll read a book or watch one of my favorite shows. I'll call up my best friends and hang out, go someplace. Or I will write.

And I will say that as I write this blog, I am practicing patience. Because life has thrown to me another curve ball and it hit me square in the face. I will be honest with you and say that I am angry. I want to go outside in the freezing cold and shout at the top of my lungs on how angry I am. But I won't. The reason I am writing this is to make myself think. With everything life gives, we are given choices, and I am choosing to think everything through, sort it all out and make a decision. And I won't think of a decision until my rationality boots my anger out.

I always felt good about helping other people out. A lot of times, I will find my friends asking me advice on what to do in circumstances. I even have customers at my job tell me things I would never ask a stranger to, but they tell me anyway and I listen. And because I acknowledge that I'm listening, the customers walk out with a smile and lighter shoulders.

With this comes the opposite outcome, as well. Sometimes, listening won't be enough. Sometimes you have to speak up, tell your side, and justify your thoughts and actions. You have to stand up for yourself and let people know that you will not let them walk all over you. This can also apply to family matters. If someone is acting ill-hearted towards a family member, you can stand up for them and help them out.

But what if something like this happens and saying something will only make it worse? Well, I do have one answer to that which may sound kind of odd. Sometimes, the best thing to do in a situation is to just walk away. That's right, I said walk away. It does nobody any good to stand and fight over something that has no ending and will not change. You have to step back and breathe. Take it for what it is and grow from it.

There's really nothing more I have to add to this. I feel more level-headed after writing this jargon. I don't know if anyone will read these words, but I do know that no matter what, I used self control and practiced my patience by writing. I used my time wisely to write down what was on my mind. I do hope someone can relate and learn with me. Or maybe even throw me some pointers on patience. I am far from learning everything there is to know. There is so much out there in life I need to learn, but I know it will come in some way or another.

To whomever reads this, I thank you for your time. I hope you have wonderful days to come, with happy memories and sunny days, no matter the weather. And most of all, I wish you always have something to smile about, even if you feel down. Because smiling is a practice all in itself.

Signing out,

Chelsea