Fenton Woman Refuses Engagement Ring for 58 Years and Counting

Some women dream of receiving a diamond ring on Valentine’s Day.

Not local resident Violet Potts.

Even though she has been married for nearly 58 years, she still refuses her husband’s offer to buy her a ring – just as she did when they were engaged more than five decades ago.

Potts and her future husband Jim dated in Ireland, where they both grew up. They enjoyed exploring the beautiful countryside with their friends and instead of a diamond ring, the practical Violet requested a motorbike instead.

“You can’t ride very far on a ring,” said Violet.

Jim honored her request and the couple has been enjoying their ride through life together ever since.

The Potts met at church in Belfast, where they were active in a teen group. The group would meet for various activities and it wasn’t long before Jim and Violet noticed that they would always end up sitting by each other. They dated for about five years and were married on June 12, 1954 and Violet did accept a wedding ring.

While newlyweds, the couple continued to enjoy fellowship with church members and traveling the beautiful Irish countryside.

“We like being together, doing things together,” said Violet.

The pair feels like they complement each other perfectly. They both enjoy spending time together, taking trips and participating in church activities. Their steadfast faith has been the foundation of their relationship from the beginning, they said. Dedicated to one another and committed to their faith, the couple moved to the United States. Since Violet had a cousin who lived in Fenton, the Potts settled in the area.

They thrived in their new environment, but still held their heritage close – sometimes too close. When Jim applied for his driver’s license, he created quite a stir when the person judging his driving skills started choking on his cigar during the driving portion of the test. It seems that Jim had started driving on the left side of the road like is custom in Ireland.

Their first home was what Jim, 81, described as a “fixer-upper” in Fenton. He worked and poured a lot of sweat into fixing up their home while Violet, now 83, took care of the household and their two children.

Before they knew it, more than 40 years had passed. Today their family includes five grandchildren and they eventually sold that fixer-upper to move into a retirement community where they no longer have to worry about lawn, landscaping and snow removal chores.

The couple clearly shares a common bond and while over the years they have had disagreements, or rows as they refer to them, no issues have been too serious for them to overcome. The Potts recognize that the other person is not perfect. The key, says Jim, is downplaying those faults while maintaining a sense of humor and recognizing that marriage is about give and take.

While milestone anniversaries are observed - their 25th was marked with a big dinner at their church while their 50th anniversary was spent with family on vacation – it’s the small stuff, like having shared interests, that makes the marriage worth celebrating daily.

The Potts continue to enjoy traveling around the United States and have returned to visit Ireland several times. They love sharing photos of the country.

One of Violet’s favorite photos shows the two of them together in a serene, emerald-green glen.

“It was just a real quiet moment,” she said.

They also like sharing stories about their visits to stately Irish castles and other picturesque destinations. On St. Patrick’s Day they visit a class of Linden second graders to discuss Ireland, talk about Irish traditions and share photos.

Jim says about every five years or so he asks Violet if she’s ready for a ring, but she continues to decline the offer. In the end, the ring doesn’t matter and what counts, says the couple, is the constant love they have and the source of support they provide to each other.

“It doesn’t happen like the storybooks. You have to work at marriage. We made a vow to each other,” Jim said.